Monday, 22 December 2008


Did Cinderella 'accidentally' lose her glass slipper or did she chuck them because high heels are always infernally difficult to run down palace stairs in?

Did all those various woodland animals- toad, woodchafer, mole- really wish to marry Thumbelina or just have her for a between-meals snack?

Did the Ugly Duckling have to become a beautiful swan to give the story its moral? Did its name suddenly become Glorious Swan with the metamorphosis? Did it even have a name?

If Aladdin was originally Chinese, why did Disney transport him to Arabia and give him a harem pants-wearing princess called Jasmine?

Doesn't the fact that the Handsome Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty despite her surely having terrible morning breath prove that men are unhygenic pigs?

What would happen to Little Red Riding Hood's identity if one fine day she lost her red riding hood and no longer remained little?

Having very smartly destroyed the wicked witch, why did Hansel and Gretel leave the gingerbread and candy cottage and skip along home to their cowardly father who had abandoned them in the woods in the first place?

Why did Pinocchio ever want to become a 'real boy' anyway?

Oh well. They all had their happy endings though.


Death On Two Legs said...

LOVED it. A L.O.T.

joey said...

the alladin thing i think i know.
vikram seth says that half the chinese population practises islam.
so that might explain why they dressed so unchinesely.

but those were rhetorical questions.right?

blinknmiss said...

what unchinesely...they weren't even in china!

but yes, all rhetoric. nothing-better-to-do-ness.

joey said...

Cow.I know.
i was just trying to explain why they might have shifted.
As in Islam.. Arabia..see?

The theory is likely to be all rot though.

cry freedom said...

i've been thinking being 18 has made me believe lesser and lesser in sincerity.
it indeed has.
zapped by this post.

Tygr Tygr Burning Bright said...

Because reason can't understand a story, for it can only understand the story by becoming one. And then it is no longer reason.

spriblah said...

Really liked your post. Aladdin was chinky? And by the way, Little Red Riding Hood did grow up, the 3 little pigs called her to shoot the wolf and she did, getting a wolf skin coat and a pigskin bag in the bargain.

blinknmiss said...

@ spriblah: oh yes. mr dahl knows it all.

spriblah said...

You know, all of those stories didn't actually have happy endings for everyone, like Red Riding Hood, life's good for her and Grandma but what about the wolf, and Cinderella, everybody's happy but what about the mice, who were turned into horses and helped Cindy get to the ball, what happens to them after Cinderella becomes princess?
P.S.-I will comment incessantly on your blog and drive you crazy. ;)

Vangmayi Parakala said...

"Doesn't the fact that the Handsome Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty despite her surely having terrible morning breath prove that men are unhygenic pigs?"

Oh God HAHAHAHA love it!

Ms. Brightside said...

hmmmmmm...i dont really think they evr got thier happy princessez all gt plastic princes in th end...hvnt u watchd enchanted?! nd pinochio ws a wetard for wantin to be a BOY...(bleh!)...chinky alladin js gt hotter (haha u no my lykin for chinkyz...ok ok i kid)red ridin hood...uh...uh...